I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
