It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
