And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
