Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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