Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
