Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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