Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
