By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
