so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
