Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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