I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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