just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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