I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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