all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
