I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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