Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
