Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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