hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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