Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize