My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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