Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just cropdusted the office
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
either way he was missing a nipple.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
