i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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