She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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