He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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