you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
