we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize