honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
