Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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