bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
