I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So drunk its hurt
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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