today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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