please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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