there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
