so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
