Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
