I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize