Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
