Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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