Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
