I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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