well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Two words: nipple clamps
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