is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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