No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i out mim tonsoeep
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