...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My vagina is very pro this idea
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