we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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