They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
