my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
