Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
