i permit you to call me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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