I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
