Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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