Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize