I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
