I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize