he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Couch. On fire.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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