OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize