so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
