I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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