You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
