you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
