Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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