): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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